Week One His Wife (The Power of a Praying Wife)

In this chapter of the book you are told the first changes you'll see will not be in your husband, but instead they will be in you. If you are like me you'll think hold up just one minuet I am not the one that needs to change or be changed. However the more you read in this book the more you work in the study guide it'll make you see that though your husband is not perfect...neither are you. In fact you'll see you, yourself has much work to do and room for improvement. 
This chapter also points out that God wants his perfect will for us, but his requirement is that we hold no sin in our hearts because that separates us from him and we will not hear our prayers answered. Psalm 66:18  says If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear. The author tells us that God really wants for our hearts to be right so the answers to our prayers are not compromised. It's hard trust me I know when you feel like your husband has been just mean, hateful, not responsible and has no respect for you, the author voices these things too but also reminds us that God also  considers it a sin to harbor feelings of unforgiveness, anger, hatred, self-pity, loveliness and revenge. Wow doesn't that make you really think and really see what we hold in our heart and it shows us just how imperfect we are. Also in this chapter the author brings up a point I'm sure you have thought of yourself cause God most certainly knows I have thought it I don't even like him how can I pray for him?  As a Christian first and foremost holding others up in prayer should be one of our priorities.  One of the biggest issues I have had in my marriages is the first marriage my husband at that time didn't believe, my problem with my current marriage is though my husband believes in God, though he attends church with me I know he hasn't given his heart to the lord and I want that for him and I want that for our marriage I want him to be a Godly man and a Godly example to our children. Though I try to talk to him about these wants and desires through this book tells me that in 1 Peter 3:1,2 that "They, without a word may be won by the conduct of their wives".  I have always said if your a Christian your actions should be more Christ like sometimes you are the only Bible others see, so this makes perfect sense to me. I don't have to nag, I don't have to persist, an occasional conversation, along with prayer and my actions can make all the difference. Other points in this chapter are about creating a home meaning making your home a happy environment, we are urged to ask the Lord to show us how to make the home a safe haven that builds up your family. This chapter ends with a prayer as each chapter does and I will post it here in this blog before I go on to the questions and answer section:
Lord, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotioanl habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22,23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only you can transform me. Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I've been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way you do totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin. Make me my husband's helpmate, companion, champion, friend and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife. I lay all my expectations at your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to you. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I have any changing that needs to be done in your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only you, Lord are perfect and I look to you to perfect us. Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each others faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19). May we be "perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment" (1 Corinthians 1:10). I pray that our commitment to you and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as you made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe your life into this marriage. Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man you've given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife and let it be me.
Some scripture of interests you should look up and read are:
Mark 11:24,25
Ephesians 4:32
Matthew 7:7,8
Proverbs 24:3,4
Galatians 6:9


Questions to ponder and think about from the workbook/prayer book grab your Bible first though you'll need it:
1. Read Matthew 19:3-6 in your Bible then underline 5,6. 
Do you believe that you and your husband are one in the sight of God? Are there places in your marriage where you and your husband are not working together as a team? List those areas. Write a prayer asking God to make you and your husband more unified in these areas. Ask him to show you what you can do to facilitate that unity.
2. Read Luke 10:19 in your Bible and underline it. You don't have authority over your husband, but who do you have authority over?
3. God has given you the authority to take a stand against any negative influence in your marriage. Is there any area in your marriage where you see that the enemy has gained or is trying to gain a stronghold? Make a list.
4. Are there any places in your marriage where you feel hopeless? List these below. Bring them before the Lord and confess your hopelessness. remember, confession is not to make you feel condemned; it's to help you acknowledge your error before God so he can free you from it and so the devil can't paralyze you with it. Write a prayer asking God to give you faith you need to believe that he is your hope and will answer your prayers. 
5. Read Joel 2:25 and underline it in your Bible. What things do you see depleting life out of your marriage? What does God promise he will do when things have been eaten away from our lives?
6. Do you believe in God's ability to heal wounds? To renew love in your heart? To restore your marriage relationship to all it should be? Why or why not?
7. Read Matthew 10:39 and underline it in your Bible. Do you trust God enough to answer his call to lay down your life in prayer for your husband? Why or why not? If not write a prayer asking God to help you trust him enough to make this commitment.
8. Red Matthew 12:25 and underline it in your Bible. Is there any issue over which you and your husband are seriously divided? How do you feel about it?
9. Do you have any anger, forgiveness, hurt, or disappointment toward your husband? Explain why. Even if you have good reason for feeling the way you do, confess those negative thoughts as sin and ask God to set you free from them. I know this is hard if you feel justified in your feelings, but this prayer of confession and repentance must come first before you can begin praying for your husband with a right heart and see answers to your prayers. 
10. Do you ever feel like you don't want to pray for your husband? Explain why. Write a prayer asking God to help you desire to pray for God's best to be poured out on your husband. (This may be a prayer you have to pray everyday for awhile so don't worry if you haven't sensed an immediate answer.) By the way my own little advice always remember God answers prayers in his OWN time and his timing is what is best for us even if WE don't think it is!
11. Is there anything for which you need to ask your husband to forgive you? Ask God to show you if there is anything for which you need to repent (an attitude, action, neglect and so on). As he reveals it, write it down. Write a prayer asking God to give you the courage, strength and humility to ask your husband for forgiveness and to communicate your love and a desire to change.
12. Tell your husband you are going to start praying for him every day in a new and positive way, and ask him to share with you any prayer requests he has. Write down what his reaction was and what requests he shared.
13. Do you see your husband anything less than a beloved son of God? Explain. Write out a prayer asking God to help you see your husband through his eyes.
14. Look up Proverbs 21:19 and underline it in your Bible. Are there any issues in your marriage where you find yourself registering the same complaint or criticism over and over? List those. Write a prayer asking God to show you when to speak about each matter and when to just keep silent and pray.
15. Is there any sensitive matter that you know you need to speak to your husband about, but you fear what his response might be? What is that? Write a prayer asking God to show you what you are to say and when to say it. Ask God to prepare your husband's heart to hear it.
16. Read Psalm 62;5 and underline it in your Bible. Are there any expectations you have of your husband that he is not living up to? What are they? Write a prayer asking God to show you where your expectations of your husband don't coincide with the reality of who he is. Tell God you will put your expectations on him so he can meet your needs.
17. Read Ephesians 5:33 and underline it in your Bible: Is there any area in which you have lost respect for your husband? Explain: Write a prayer asking God to reveal ways you may have demonstrated a lack of respect for your husband. As he reveals them, confess them as sin and ask Got to help you see your husband the way that  he sees him.
18. Read Galatians 5:22,23 and underline it in your Bible. Do you have any habitually negative ways of responding to your husband that need to be changed? What are these? Write them down. Ask God to give you revelation about this. Then write down next to them which fruit of the Spirit you need in order to eliminate the negative mindset and habits of response. 
19. Read Proverbs 31:10-31 in your Bible. Ask yourself then following questions without expecting perfection:
Are you a trustworthy wife? 
Are you and asset to your husband?
Do you work diligently to make a home in which he can be comfortable and happy?
Are you careful and wise with money?
Do you take care of your physical health and appearance?
Are you a giving person?
Are you prepared for your future?
Do you make sure your family members have their needs met?
Do you generally move in wisdom?
Are you always loving and kind?
Is your relationship with the Lord alive, intimate, growing and strong?
Without being hard on yourself, write a prayer asking God to help you with each area in which you need to improve and enable you to become the wife he wants you to be?
20. Pray the prayer out loud that I posted earlier in this blog. Include all the specific needs, desires and hopes from your own heart.


I urge you all to purchase the book and the workbook.  Trust me this book is a great investment in your marriage and your future. This book will help you be a better wife and in turn with God's help will heal your marriage and help your husband to be the husband God would want you to have! You have to put God first in your life and let his light shine through you be his beckon be the person only he can make you to be.